I'll Make a Man Out of You
Dec. 26th, 2018 08:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dayoldhakarlLet's get down to business...
This may come as a surprise to a lot of my followers, but I was in JROTC back in high school. If you're not sure what that is, it's a cadet corps where you dress in uniform, learn military history, do drill routines, and earn ribbons and medals.
This is fourteen years removed, mind you, and I've been carrying my awards and whatnot in a small box I got for graduation. I've been meaning to get it in a shadow box since I graduated but alas, never happened. Finally, this year Mom got me a shadow box for Christmas and I got to set everything up.
Woe be it for me I was not at all prepared...
Back then I was barely holding it together. I was dropping my honors classes and taking “easy” classes so I could simply function. I was in and out of school because of my mental illness. I came close to both dropping out and ending my own life.
But JROTC saved my life. I couldn’t handle a day of school but I could do my hour at drill practice. I couldn’t face the other students but I could march with them in perfect formation. And I had zero direction but I could zero in on a target and blow it to smithereens.
I have tears in my eyes because I had no clue how capable I was back then. I didn’t think I was smart enough. I didn’t think I was good enough. I saw no reason to keep going.
But I did.
I wish I could go back and tell that lost cadet how incredible she was, how much stronger she really was (she stood up to her instructor, after all!). She made it through by sheer tenacity, never giving up though God knows she wanted to.
That cadet still lives in me. And I will not let her down again.
This may come as a surprise to a lot of my followers, but I was in JROTC back in high school. If you're not sure what that is, it's a cadet corps where you dress in uniform, learn military history, do drill routines, and earn ribbons and medals.
This is fourteen years removed, mind you, and I've been carrying my awards and whatnot in a small box I got for graduation. I've been meaning to get it in a shadow box since I graduated but alas, never happened. Finally, this year Mom got me a shadow box for Christmas and I got to set everything up.
Woe be it for me I was not at all prepared...
Back then I was barely holding it together. I was dropping my honors classes and taking “easy” classes so I could simply function. I was in and out of school because of my mental illness. I came close to both dropping out and ending my own life.
But JROTC saved my life. I couldn’t handle a day of school but I could do my hour at drill practice. I couldn’t face the other students but I could march with them in perfect formation. And I had zero direction but I could zero in on a target and blow it to smithereens.
I have tears in my eyes because I had no clue how capable I was back then. I didn’t think I was smart enough. I didn’t think I was good enough. I saw no reason to keep going.
But I did.
I wish I could go back and tell that lost cadet how incredible she was, how much stronger she really was (she stood up to her instructor, after all!). She made it through by sheer tenacity, never giving up though God knows she wanted to.
That cadet still lives in me. And I will not let her down again.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-01 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-01 11:43 pm (UTC)